The Highs and the Lows

How do you tell your kid it's going to be okay, that he must change his attitude about going into the hospital for yet another five days. That attitude is everything! With such an awesome weekend with his friends, the football game and today lunch at school with more friends, I come home to a very sad young man. He doesn't look like the man he has become. He is my little boy, sad, despondent and angry.

Of all the treatments, the hospital is the worse. He feels trapped, days of chemo take its toll on his spirit and his body. The first time he was nauseous the entire time. The second time he was soo tired and low on blood that he needed oxygen. What will this time bring? Each time we "try" and come up with a new system. Maybe if he walks more around the halls, maybe if he eats more vegetables, maybe if I make the tea he likes he will sleep better at night. With all the "experience" we already have under out belt, each time are new adventures and issues that pop up that we do our best to handle.

As a woman and even more so a mother, we try and fix everything! We try and make everything better for those around us. We are nature born caregivers. I see this next trip to the hospital as another challenge to make things better for Zack. I know that I'm not one hundred percent responsible, but I sure as hell am going to do my best again to make this as easy as possible on him.

We will know for sure tomorrow when the lab work comes back if we continue into the hospital. We will also find out when he goes to the clinic to be marked for radiation. Through everything, we continue with amazing love and support from family and friends alike. Zack's friends are already promising visits to the hospital and I'm positive while they are there the time will go faster. What more can we ask for? The journey continues.