These are the days we look forward to. The days when Zack is a "normal" kid wanting to hang out with his friends, go "off roading ", drive around, look at his car, check out what's going on in the car world. Pretty much anything that gets him out of the house but not in large crowds (for protection from infection). Last night he wanted to stay with Drake, he comes to me and Frank, gives us a hug goodby, grabs a bag with his shot and alcohol swabs and heads out the door.
He has taken full charge of his own care. He plans on going Monday for blood work, he tells us, he doesn't need us to go with him for this. These tests will determine whether or not he starts another treatment on Tuesday. The staff at the Clinic are amazing. I know when he goes on his own they are treating him just as if we are there. They are protective and nurturing and we are blessed to have found the right place.
Mom spent the night last night, this morning she wakes up all smiles. She tells me that she feels so much better after seeing how he is at the clinic and around the house. She noticed while we were at the clinic that his lips were white and then all of a sudden at lunch the color comes back. He showed her how he gives himself the shots. NOW she is not as worried about Zack, she is worried about me.
As a caregiver to my father, an Alzheimer's patient for 13 years, she sees things in my behavior that remind her of herself. Being a person with Obsessive Compulsive tendencies ( okay let's call a spade a spade... OCD are my middle initials) she worries that I will try and continue to have "everything" in order. She tells me I will need to let the kitchen floor get dirty every now and that the dishes will pile up but it's okay to leave them. I ask if she has seen my floors lately. I find that I'm so tired these days that I have time to "maybe" eat dinner, crawl in bed and blog. I keep the blog going for those connected to us, those that are seeking some understanding, and hopefully reach and help out someone who may be going through something similar. My intention is to spread the word about Sarcoma. You will see a ton of information about Breast Cancer, but Sarcoma is rarely spoken about. I had never heard about it before it touched our home. If I can help one person better understand, learn and spread the word I have accomplished my mission. I promised Mom that I am and will continue to take care of myself. I understand that this is the beginning of a long haul for us all, and I know that in caring for myself, I will be around for those that need me.
Mom, Rhonda (sister) and I spent the entire day cleaning out one of her booths in the local mini mall . Because my attitude today was better, everything went so smooth. We were able to accomplish the entire move in five hours and now Mom's jewelry booth looks beautiful with Antiques dispersed between all of her creative jewelry designs. To spend a normal day helping Mom, eating lunch with her and Rhonda outside on the patio of a wonderful local restaurant and taking the time to browse our quaint shops on Main Street, I had a few hours to forget. Frank was able to go fishing for a few hours this morning and is planning on going with one of his friends again tomorrow. His own little "sanctuary" and how he copes with life's stresses.
We savor the good moments, those, are what we are able to look back on when times get rough.
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