Zack woke up feeling better after a rough night. The pain was all around from every area where they had performed a procedure. He is one tough kid and tells me to go to bed and he will be alright, he says I know you don't sleep well when you worry. I remind him that I am a mother, and it's my job to worry. Once he is settled in and asleep, I will go to bed. He did manage to fall asleep around midnight, and though he said he woke up a couple of times, he fell back asleep.
Darrick ( his cousin) spent the night. The two boys woke up ready for breakfast. They drive to the local Biscuit place (we are in the South, don't forget) and return with breakfast. (having spent so much time running around, groceries are slim). I get a text from Nancy who wants to take me out to lunch and retail therapy. I jump on it today. Right now it is hour to hour. Zack is hanging out at the house with Darrick until it is time to go to their house for our family get together at six. Frank is on the parkway fishing, his "retail therapy".
Nancy and I had a wonderful time, I find a couple of tops that are bright and cheerful ( I need to wear more color right now to keep out of the gloom and doom), we go to our favorite Thai restaurant and the conversation again turns to Zack. That is all consuming right now for me, and with Nancy (and Steve) having gone through such similar circumstances six years earlier, there is now another bond which we both understand. their daughter was in a serious car accident, ended up in a coma and has a TBI. She is a high functioning young lady now, driving, living on her own, going to school, but it was (and sometimes still is) a long and difficult path for them. I had just met and started to work for them just 7 months prior to the accident. We had already formed a bond (instantly) and I witnessed as they made it hour by hour, day by day, month by month. Nancy and I were talking about our mutual pain. As mothers we tend to take on alot, we still want to be everything to everyone, but sometimes something has to give. For me it is currently the little things like laundry, dishes, cooking. I remember Nancy had to stay at the hospital for months, and Steve would have to stay home (1 1/2 hours away) to keep the business going and care for their son who was still in high school. Somehow that gives me comfort now, as I know that Frank must keep working in order to bring in the money, (with his business if he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid.. ( Water feature anyone?) I am blessed as I work three days a week and the days I have missed have been paid for. Remember I told you I have amazing bosses / friends. The other thing we now have in common is survival. I know that Zack is going to be just fine, I know that I am going to make it through all of this a stronger person, and I know that this will make Frank and my relationship even stronger. I understand with all of this, just as it did for Nancy and Steve, that some people will question how we do things, feelings will get hurt. but never intentionally, our bottom line is to keep our son healthy and as happy under these circumstances as possible.
We have an amazing group of friends and family.We are so blessed that I still have my Mom, Brother and Sister, and Franks Brother and Sisters as well as Brother and Sister in Laws living so close. As a matter of fact tomorrow Mom and I are going to do OUR girl thing, and I can't wait to spend the day with her. We have not had much time together these past few weeks and we both are in dire need of our Mom / Sabrina fix. Bobby has been my sounding board when I start to crack. He has a very calming voice and knows how to rationalize my feelings so I don't feel so crazy. Having had panic attacks and now working VERY hard to overcome agoraphobia (for several years now), he has a compassion and understanding of my emotional side. If I wake up in the middle of the night with a panic attack, he or Mom are there to calm me. Hey, what can I say, when I try and wake up Frank, he is telling me where to put what rocks in his deep sleep ( he is building his water feature.... ) LOL
We had a wonderful cookout tonight at Shawn and Floyds house ( Franks sister and our brother in law) The Aunts and Uncles and Cousins and Niece and Nephews were all there to celebrate Betty (Franks mothers) life, whom passed away five years ago today. I know she and Dad are just hanging around looking out for us all. As a matter of fact, when we pulled into their driveway tonight a beautiful blue butterfly flew right in front of our windshield and disappeared. Frank and I looked at each other and said "there was Papa K". We again felt the love and support. More people are finding out and more are following the blog, which makes it so much easier on us. We appreciate everyone understanding this form of communication. Any time anyone wants to call and talk, we are available. If we don't answer, just leave a message and we will call you back. Our doors are always open (unless we are not home, LOL)
Be well tonight and have a great Sunday. I'm taking the day off from blogging but will resume on Monday after the EEG and Echo. Hugs!!!
Love you blogging this journey. Love you very much
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